Kitaki OG Chronicles
by Ai Ga Hoshii Dake
Summary: One Gangster gets his storyline back. AJ spoilers; Case 2.
1. Entry 1: Introduction

Dear Journal,

Oh, no wait. Not supposed to write that. Um...

Yo! Wassup biz-oy? This is Wocky Kitaki reporting to you live from my little notebook that Dr.Julian gave me.

Yeah. Wocky Kitaki, straight up O.G. The Mom-ster thought I was getting um, what was the word she used?

Boil-steroids?

Burl-sturrups?

Whatever. Point is she sent me to some wack G named Dr.Julian for therapy. Alita was down with it, so I figure I'd give it a shot.

That G is UG-LEE with zero alibi, you feel me? I could throw a dart at his mole and it'd probably cover the office in goo.

Sicknastyawesome.

He told me that I had to learn to "channel my violent bee-have-your" into positive energy, and he said I was supposed to "air-ate my life".

My life's pretty fly, why do I gotta air it out?

So instead of writing in in a pansy-ass "Dear Journal" kind of book, I'm just supposed to write aboutwhat goes on in the O.G life as if I'm "talking to some one".

Yuck. I can still hear his British accent talking, makes me wanna chuck up some sickness.

But...not much happened today after I left the office. Alita had some errands to run and Mom was just, y'know, doing her thing I guess. Mom didn't give me any chores to do. Any day when she doesn't have to break out that creepy-ass broom-sword of her's is a good day.

So...

I saw this dude the other day with a noodle stand. They make noodle stands now? That's messed up. Anyway, I was steaming hungry when I saw the dude so I flagged the guy down and did my thang.

"Yo Pops, can you cut me a bowl of noodles dude? I'm mad hungry!"

But the geezer flipped out on me man! Started mumbling curses and playing this really crappy harmonica tune. Then he poured up some soup in a bowl that looked like some peppermint candy.

"Insolent disgrace is what yew are!" he yelled. I was so like, _so_, not gonna take that, so I was all, "Hayle no Geezer! You ain't gonna talk to Wocky Kitaki like that and get away clean! I'm a straight gangsta boy! I'll cut you up!" I got out my trust pocket knife made of bubble gum. He raised an eyebrow (I think he did, the freak was wearing a freakin' bowl of noodles on his _head_) and then he was all,

"You think you can take my broth boy?"

And being me, a survivor of a shot to the heart, I was all "Bring it Pops!"

Next thing I know, he shoves a ladle down real far my throat and I run over to the fountain down at my old man's park and start gulping down the water. When I finally washed all the salt out of my mouth, I could hear that lame harmonica playing and he rolled down the street.

I got grounded for coming home halft-soaked.

I know now not to mess with anyone pulling a noodle stand.

Alita wasn't even allowed to come over.

Then I got mad. So my old man whupped my ass.

He's been acting strange lately. He's been locking himself in his office and even in a section of the kitchen. I tried to peek inside once and it was the weirdest shit.

I smelled cookies. Really good ones too.

Then I got _really, really_ bored, and Mom wouldn't give me chores to do because she knew I'd be bored.

So I officially decided to give myself a theme song.

I was thinking about current songs like that song about elevators by um...Timberland? Timberlake? Lumberjack? I'd know it if I heard it. But I couldn't use my laptop to look for it, so I tried my hand at beatboxing.

I thought it was going good until I heard one of the goons laughing from behind my door. It turned out to be Mario, so I chased the sucka down.

Then I figured I'd try some lyrics. Writing isn't my strong point, but a gangster like me is worth it. So far I came up with:

"_Yo yo yo Kitak-i 'da O.G_

_Ain't no body gonna mess with me_

_Cuz I got rims dat spin and goons to do my work_

_But cuz Im a gangsta you might think that I'm a jerk_

_But don't call me square, dumb, or orange_

_Cuz I'll knock you up G, just like a"_

But it was really hard to think of a word that rhymes with orange. I mean seriously, have you ever tried it?! But I figured my Ma's pretty smart so I went over to where she was sweeping and showed her my rap.

"What rhymes with orange Ma?"

Then she made me go to the dishes. I smelled cookies.

I believe what she did was not good for my personal "Self-Steam" so I might talk to the Doc about that.

I read my rap to Alita, she liked it. My Alita-Baby is such a genius.

_Door hinge._ Why didn't I think of that before?

"_Cuz I'll knock you up G, just like a door hinge!_

_Bizz-oy!"_

Then I showed it to Mom and told her what a good poet Alita was.

She gave me the paper back and said something about Dr.Julian and pills. I'm not worried though, I got a rap! And finally Mom let me back on the computer and I found this song that sounded like a nursery rhyme but it was about chains and ice!

So that's my theme song, but not my rap, you feel me? There's a difference.

...

Mom hit me with her broom when I played my theme song for her. She just can't get with the times.

A gangsta has to be a gangsta during times like these, ya dig?

I'm gonna get those songs to play at me and my baby's wedding next month. Can't wait.

So...peace I guess? Its not supposed to be a journal or whatever. Oh well, a gangsta has to get his gangsta sleep.

Peace.

Again.

-W.K

Wocktionary (in order):

-Boisterous (loud; rowdy)

-Behavior

-"Elevator" Flo Rida ft. Timbaland

-Self-Esteem

-"Chain Hang Low" Jibbs

R&R

-AGHD


	2. Entry 2: Reminiscing and Revenging

Dear Journal,

GAH! What's with me and writing that?

Gangstas do not write in journals. Gangstas do _not_ write in journals.

So maybe gangsta's write in...gangsta books?

Okay lemme start again.

Dear Gangsta Book,

Yo! It's W to the O to the C to the...the...key? WOCKY! Oh yeah!

Anyway, I gotta say right now I'm pretty pissed off. Outta nowhere I'm making up this sick-beat dance to my theme song and outta nowhere Mario busts through the door like he owns the place! And he's all:

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

So I stop dancing and look at him like "HAYLE NO!" 'cuz he's just one of the goons!

"I'm beep boying dickweed! I got a theme song, now what's your beef busting up in my room like 'dat?"

Then he did this homo eye roll and clicked his tongue. "That's B-BOYING stupid, and you're sucking big time. And get a move on, Boss want's us all to line up in the confrence room." Then he left.

The confrence room is used only when Boss has to make an anouncement that affects a bunch of people, so they all go there to listen. Its almost as big as the party room, which is next door. 'Cept we party there, we don't go to get lexchured. But I dunno why its called the "Conference" because all we go there for is meetings.

I mean, c'mon. Y'dthink the Old Man would be smarter than that?

But Mario left before I could ask him what was going down, so I just went to the confrence room. All of the goons were lined up on one side, and then the maids and cooks were on the other side. Mario decked me into the goon line, and I so wasn't gonna take 'dat. So I punched him in the crotch!

Yeah. Though I gotta say, there wasn't much there if _ya catch ma drift_.

Then outta nowhere, like MAGIC almost, Boss appeared and dragged me away from Mario, where a bunch of the goons were leanin' over him and telling him how to breathe. Boss shoved me inbetween Lucas and some dude I didn't know, but he smelled bad.

"LISTEN UP!" And you'd have to be dead retarded if you live in our place and not know who that voice belongs to. "When you're next in line come behind the curtain here with Doctor Monroe!" And Boss stepped over to where the maids and cooks were.

Everyone looked to the right where Johnny-Mac was being led behind some curtain, a doctor and a nurse behind him. After like, ten minutes, he came out holding a cup and a bandaid on his arm. I dragged him over while Bobby went next.

"Yo G, what up with this?" I whispered, hopefully Boss wouldn't get mad and whup my ass in front of everybody.

I mean, they've seen it but that don't mean they need to watch a sequel!

"It's a med exam dude, they take your blood and make you pee and everythin'," he showed his little plastic cup and left.

I was all, Medical exam? Why we suddenly taking that?

I wasn't worried though, because I knew I was total healthy, 'specially after my op. at the clinic. Wocky's strong baby!

Atleast, so I thought.

We must've been standing there for HOURS! All the goons, including me but I'm _not_ a goon, finally just gave up and sat down up against the wall. I had to pull my shirt up over my nose to keep from suffocating near Sir. Stank next to me, but thankfully he was up next and he left. The line shifted over and we waited for another ten minutes before the doctor motioned me to stand up. I yanked my shirt down and then the doctor from the other side led me to the party room.

"Wocky I'm going to ask you to sit on the chair we have here and remove your shirt, please," he had this real official accent going on and Boss was standing near by. I yanked off my shirt and Boss yelled at me for singing how I was too sexy for my shirt.

I've made that my back up theme song, Alita was down with it.

Then the doctor shoved this blue apron on me which weighed, like, a LOT. Then he got behind a big curtain with Boss and told me to hold still.

Then I went blind momentarily. When I could finally see again, I gave that Doc my two cents about blinding a gangsta!

Boss whupped me upside the head and threw my shirt at me.

Then he did all sorts of whacky Doctor things to me. He made me pee in a cup, looked down my throat, shined a light in my eyes and up my nose. Stuck a cone in my ears too, put this tighten-y thing around my arm, and gave me a shot.

I only cried a little. But that was because the latex was getting to me! **LATEX**!

My favorite part was the reflex test. He hit my knee, and my foot flex to his crotch so fast you'da think it was horny!

I thought it was funny, but Boss didn't. My head still hurts. But the Doc just did the other knee.

From the other side of the table.

Finally I was done and he sent me to my room. I was a little peeved at the Boss for being such an ass about this med exam, but when I saw Alita holding two Rocket Popsicles, I got all happy inside.

So me and Alita got all cuddly on my bed and we starting having our popsicles, watching a craft show Alita talked me into watching. Or stared really, she has a way of staring into your eyes all cute-sy like and then you do whatever she wants.

Alita-baby. Alita.

But it wasn't all bad, I mean those itty-bitty bunny eggs were really cute! I should make one this Easter, maybe I'll make it some miniature bling. And I'll call it Paco.

Paco da gangsta Bunny. I'll even give it to Alita as a gift. She loves Easter.

But as we was watching the lady teach us how to adjust "hoos" of color when dying the eggs, I gotta say; Alita was sucking on that popsicle like nobody's business. Really going at it, like...going at it...popsicles.

So then I grabbed our popsicles and shoved them in a bowl Alita brought out to put them in and put it on the bookshelf. Then we made out. That was fun. It was really cold too, y'know.

Popsicles.

Me and Alita would've been in _hea_ven, if you catch ma drift, had it not been for a certain butt-headed Mario. In case it wasn't obvious by now, the dude had some _serious_ bad timing issues.

"Wow, you virgins sure know how to suck face."

"THE HELL DO YOU WANT MARIO?! I'LL BUST A CAP SO FAR UP YOUR ASS--"

Then he threw a file at my face and left. Alita kissed my boo-I MEAN TINY PAPERCUT on my cheek _better_ and I opened up the file. And if my face wasn't red enough from both of our popsicle juices, it was probably hella red then.

All I could think was, "WHAT THE EFF?" because apparently the bullet that Doc had "taken out" wasn't out at all. It still cozy right next to my thumper! I remember everything going red and I was ripping up the report in half and jumping out the window. I knew Alita was back there screaming but I was too mad to care.

I went for a walk, reflecting on things, before I came back here to write.

Tonight's the night I make myself a real gangsta. I got the pistol ready, and that Doc won't know what hit him.

* * *

Wocktionary:

Lexchure - Lecture

Hoos - Hues

Did I mention I don't own Apollo Justice? 'Cuz I don't.


End file.
